Saturday, August 25, 2012

Death

I deal poorly with death. Every time I say that someone says "yeah, me either;" but I don't think they really understand. I'm horrible with it.

A couple weeks ago a friend of mine passed. He was hit by a car while walking along the street and run over by a second car. I hadn't talked to him in maybe ten years, but back then we hung out fairly often... Weekly or bi-weekly or so. When I found out he died I was in a pretty bad state of depression for more than a week. I tried to mask it, didn't think it was even showing; but people kept telling me that I needed to snap out of it or pointing out that they could tell that I was bumming. (don't get me started on the "snap out of it" crap, that's another story for another time).

I cried after his funeral. I don't cry. It's been years since I last shed a tear that wasn't born from a yawn. I'm generally quite devoid of any in depth emotions, at least on the surface. But death hits me.

The other day my great aunt died. Technically she wasn't related to mel; she was the aunt of my uncle, my uncle being married into the family. I only saw her twice a year, Easter and Christmas; and due to her health issues I hadn't seen her in a few years. She was a sweet woman. I attended the church services for her today. I was pretty choked up at several points.

I don't understand it. I process things slowly, so perhaps that's part of the reason. Maybe it's just me realizing that it could be me one day. Maybe it's empathy for other people. I don't know what it is, but I don't like it. I much prefer practicing my blend of blatant assholery and sarcasm.

Oh well. Rest in peace Bob Boak and Aunt Thetis.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Did you ever notice, when you're deep in thought, that there is a song playing in your head in the background? And then you're like, "Why the fuck is that the song that's playing in my head right now?"

Monday, August 06, 2012

Pandas

Pandas are near extinction still. The Great Pandas, not the red ones. I know this isn't news to anyone but it's not something we can ignore. They are still poached in the wild by terrible people. And to make matters worse there is the issue with their mating, they are rare to get along with one another well enough to copulate.

I don't understand that at all because I find pandas to be ridiculously sexy. I would  totally have sex with a panda. They seem like reluctant lovers so I'd start out with some wine, dim lighting, and some smooth jazz. No one can resist that combination and I suspect that pandas are just as susceptible as the rest of us.

Thursday, August 02, 2012

50 shades of my nuts smacking off of your ass.

My wife started reading 50 Shades of Grey. I've flipped through it and feel like it's just a long and poorly written Penthouse Forum. I even think I caught an "I didn't think this would ever happen to me" in it.

Anyways, what I've been doing is letting her read it for forty-five minutes or so, and then just pounce on her in bed and bang the hell out of her. It's dampening panties without me having to do any of the work. Don't think I'll ever read the book, but I feel like I owe the author some real gratitude.