The Doppleganger

When I came up with the name donteatpoop, I have to admit a awe inspiring sense of genius. It may be the pinnacle of achievement in my life. It both a screen name and a message for the masses, a code to live by. It’s almost like something Confucious would say. Words to live by, you know.

I first used “donteatpoop” when setting up practice accounts at work for e-mail addresses and what-not. It has since evolved into my screen name for infinite-story.com, worth1000, g-mail, and now here.

However, it was much to my dismay and chagrin that I discovered there is another out there parading around on Yahoo with my user name. Someone else out there is posing as me, undoubtedly in a vain attempt to feel accepted and to gain instant celebrity status. But I will not stand for it, no!

I am the only real donteatpoop. That son of a bitch is an imposter. An imposter, I tell you! Even if they came up with it first. I’m still the only one who has rights to the name? Why? Because I just said so, and they haven’t. And when they do, I still said it first.

There can be only one donteatpoop!

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not an unreasonable guy. They can keep the username at Yahoo, or whatever. It’s not like I go to yahoo or anything.

But I will not have them parading around and proclaiming my awesomness as their own.

Therefor I propose a secret password thing like the spies use. Should you ever encounter someone named donteatpoop and need to be sure you are speaking to the real one (me), you will ask said person “What color does the sun turn in the night?” and I will respond “What the fuck are you talking about?”