Pac Man

I am the Pac Man messiah.

Just so you know. No one can take me on a one on one Pac Man competition. Don't believe me? I'm in Youngstown, Ohio, and my Pac Man skills will send you running home to mommy so she can wipe the tears from your eyes.

I went to visit my grandmother in her brief stay at the assisted living old folks home. They had one of the original Pac Man machines there. I was stoked. I defeated my wife in three straight games.

The old people, obviously impressed by my skills, gathered around to watch as I gobbled up the power pellets and destroyed the ghosts like a hungry fatman at a buffet.

Then came the challengers. One by one, the old fools fell to my unequaled Pac Man prowess. When I left the nursing home that day, they knew that donteatpoop was a force to be reckoned with.

They should have known all along. It was prophesized.