Disposal
Tonight I came home to find that my wife had tore out the carpeting in one of the rooms upstairs because one of the cats had been pissing on it.
She didn't want it sitting with our trash, so my mission was to take it to an apartment complex that we used to live in and dump the bags of carpet in one of their dumpsters.
There were four massive bags in all, each of them black drum liners filled to capacity. They were large enough and almost heavy enough to be filled with body parts.
It's about one in the morning when I pull the car over next to a dumpster and turn the lights off. Two teenage kids sat on a curb up the avenue a bit, trying to look tough, while I unloaded the huge bags into the dumpsters.
After moving the bags I got back into the car and turned it on, the lights hitting the kids who turned immediatley away as though trying to hide that they were looking at me.
I was secretely hoping that they thought I was dumping bodies.
I put the car in drive and drove slowly past them.
In my head, one of them stopped me and said "Damn, how many bodies did you bury?'
To which I replied, "Only the ones that ask questions."
She didn't want it sitting with our trash, so my mission was to take it to an apartment complex that we used to live in and dump the bags of carpet in one of their dumpsters.
There were four massive bags in all, each of them black drum liners filled to capacity. They were large enough and almost heavy enough to be filled with body parts.
It's about one in the morning when I pull the car over next to a dumpster and turn the lights off. Two teenage kids sat on a curb up the avenue a bit, trying to look tough, while I unloaded the huge bags into the dumpsters.
After moving the bags I got back into the car and turned it on, the lights hitting the kids who turned immediatley away as though trying to hide that they were looking at me.
I was secretely hoping that they thought I was dumping bodies.
I put the car in drive and drove slowly past them.
In my head, one of them stopped me and said "Damn, how many bodies did you bury?'
To which I replied, "Only the ones that ask questions."
posted by donteatpoop at 3:21 AM
3 Comments:
Since you can't submit comments in Plime until it get fixed, I will say "HA HA!"
Mad Karma to you DEP!
always good shit from you. These cant be real stories can they be?
Oh yes, shafty. Real stories. I didn't actually say that to the kid, but I thought about it. And it probably would have been funny. But they might have shot me or something.
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