I might be a vampire
I'm not entirely sure, but I have some of the symptoms.
I sleep through most of the day and am awake at night. My skin starts to burn whenever I am in the sun. My skin is pale, I am sure that has nothing to do with my avoidance of the sun.
I eat garlic, but I think the 'no garlic for vampires' is an old wives tale anyway.
Plus I bite into the necks of the innocent and drain them of their blood for nourishment.
I sleep through most of the day and am awake at night. My skin starts to burn whenever I am in the sun. My skin is pale, I am sure that has nothing to do with my avoidance of the sun.
I eat garlic, but I think the 'no garlic for vampires' is an old wives tale anyway.
Plus I bite into the necks of the innocent and drain them of their blood for nourishment.
Labels: vampire
posted by donteatpoop at 7:12 PM
2 Comments:
You might just be a Republican
Not sure if I replied to this. Might have forgotten to add the code to make it work.
Anyway, you're a vampire only if you bite into necks and suck blood. Blood Banquets and Blood Buffets are fine.
The Kool Aid man doesn't count. Bite into his neck all you want. Although when you get the blood, he won't clot. So you better be thirsty. The Kool Aid man will, of course, bleed until he reaches the crack where you bit him. He will then attempt to call the police. He will be weak, so you will need to bite into his ass, yes, his ass, so he continues to bleed, and proceed to suck the blood out as he faints. Bring some cups for later enjoyment. After he is light enough, turn him upside down. He will be technically dead at this point. Mend the cracks, bring him back to the lab and revive him, then use him for an endless supply of "blood."
This has been Kool Aid Killing 101.
I am your host,
Calen
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