A Night Out

Last night I got out of work an hour early. So two of my co-workers (we’ll call them Dude and Chick) and I decided to hit up the bar.


Buffalo Zoo Juice

We sat down and ordered our drinks. A few minutes later this trio of guys got up to the bar and ordered an interesting looking pink mixed drink. Dude and Chick were all like “Oooo, that looks good” and “I wonder what that is”. So I said, “Why don’t you go ask him?”

But they responded (and I’m paraphrasing here) “No, we have social anxieties and strangers intimidate us.”

“I’ll go find out, then,” I said. Both of them said I shouldn’t; I don’t really understand their inability to speak to strangers.

So I asked the guy what drink he was having and he told me; “It’s called Buffalo Zoo Juice” (this is at Buffalo Wild Wings, so it’s probably some sort of ‘chain-drink’).

“What’s in it?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” the guy said; “But my brother works at another BW’s, and he made me one of these. I only drank the one and I was buzzing my dick off.”

“Wow,” I said. “Last time I buzzed my dick off, there was a cell phone in my pocket.”

Awkward silence, he blinked a few times.

“Alright,” I said; “thanks.”

“Sure,” he said.

I walk back over to Dude and Chick and they are immediately asking for details. “What’s it called?” “What is it?” “What’s in it?”

“It’s called Buffalo Zoo Juice,” I told them, pausing dramatically; “And it is known to buzz dicks off.”

“What?!” The two of them asked, astonished. “It does what?!”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I asked that guy what was in it and he said he didn’t know, but the last time he had one he was buzzing his dick off.”

They laughed for a while and “buzz my dick off” became a catch phrase for the night. I moderated it for Chick, saying “It will buzz your vag off”.

We ended up ordering the drinks and they were pretty good. Sadly, however, there was no dick buzzing.





A Friendly Game of Confuse the DJ

There was a DJ there that night. He mentioned that he was taking requests, said to come on up and tell him what we wanted to hear and to come on up as often as we like.

That’s when I proposed a bar-game. I don’t know if this is a game other people play, but it’s called Confuse the DJ.

“How do you play Confuse the DJ?” Chick asked.

“It’s easy,” I told her. “We make up a band and request to hear it.”

So we started brainstorming. It had to sound like a real band and we threw several ideas out on the table; Black Sunday had a good run, then I suggested Silver Jews (someone I was certain they had never heard of). They thought Silver Jews sounded horrible, not like a real band at all. I then revealed that Silver Jews was a real band, and they were astonished to learn this. This gave me an idea.

Next I suggested Queen Franklin and we toyed with this one for a while before I suggested Soul Coughing, a band that was not unheard of but not common. I watched them for recognition and saw (thankfully) that they had never heard of Soul Coughing.

“That’s what I’m going to request then,” I said. “Soul Coughing. I’ll call the song Super Bon-Bon.”

So I went up to the DJ and suggested it. The DJ hadn’t heard any requests for Soul Coughing in a long while, but he did have the song.

I returned to the bar and Dude and Chick were excited to hear how it went.

“I walked up to him and asked for Soul Coughing, Super Bon-Bon; and then I walked away.” They laughed a little. Wasn’t overly funny, but it was amusing at the moment for them.

It was far more amusing when, two songs later, the DJ announced that the next song was from a band called Soul Coughing with the song ‘Super Bob-Bon’.

Their jaws dropped as the bass started pumping. “No way!” I said, trying to look as shocked as they were. A moment later realization hit them and they realized that they had been had, but the look of shock on their faces before then was worth the trouble of the long set-up.