How to stop a woman from complaining.

In the first few years that my wife and I were together we lived in an apartment. We had a nice big shower there, and were able to share showers and everything. It was wonderful.

Of course the downfall was that sometimes my wife just would not stop bitching about things. This is a problem that many men have never been able to overcome.

Let me tell you a story of the day I defeated CBS (Continuous Bitching Syndrom).

I don't remember what it was about, and it's not relevant to the story anyway, but one night my wife just started bitching. Bitching, bitching, bitching. And it was one of those bitch fits that could go on for hours if you let it or didn't know how to stop.

I inwardly cringed, realizing that I had no way of stopping her except to stay calm and agree with her and apologize for whatever the hell it was that I did. But it wasn't working. The minute hand was about halfway through it's first lap when I said I was going to take a shower.

She joined me in the shower, which was our habit, but she was still complaining. She hadn't even paused in her tirade, just followed me to the bathroom, undressed and got into the shower with me. I started using the "You're bitching too much and I'm getting sick of it," route which lead to the logical counter of "well I'm sick of (insert complaint here)" I even tried the "please stop, you've made your point" tactic, but to no avail.

I got out of the shower and quickly dried off, leaving her in the bathroom alone. Naturally she raised her voice so that she could be heard above the water and through the door and accross the apartment to wherever I may wander.

When she finished her shower, rubbing lotion on her arms, she was STILL bitching. There had been no pause what-so-ever, just one long and continuous complaint. She laid down on the love seat to apply some lotion to her legs, her head resting on the arm rest.

Niether of us had dressed yet, and this fact is what sparked the genious of my plan. I walked up to the side of the love-seat, where her head was resting and slapped her in the forehead with my dick. There was a some-what loud "smack!" that seemed to echoe off the walls, and suddenly she had stopped.

There was a long moment of absolute silence as her brain began to process what had just happened. Her mouth hung open and she was clearly in shock. And then, after several seconds of nothing, she spoke.

"Did you just smack me in the forehead with your dick?"

"Well it shut you up, didn't it?" I said. "Nothing else was working." Then I walked away to the bedroom to get dressed.

Didn't hear another word about whatever she had been bitching about of her all night.