TP for my Bunghole?
No one wants to admit it happens, but we all know it has.
Why can’t toilet paper be sturdier?
Sure, they’re designed to effectively remove fecal matter from the area, but they have a tendency to occasionally rip under applied pressure. You reach back to remove the substance when suddenly your finger tip is caked in crap. The urge to wash immediately has to be controlled as you reach for more, taking an extra piece in the hopes that it will be less liable to break on you.
When everything is done you have to find some way to pull up your pants without using one of your hands. That’s only half the trouble. Washing it off is never an easy or entertaining task, but it must be done. After an hour of scrubbing, you find that there is still a bit beneath your nail that just won’t come clean.
You return to whatever it was that you were doing and do your best to forget what just happened, but every time your finger comes near your nose, you can’t help but catch the scent and remember vividly the disgusting tragedy which so recently assaulted you. Thinking about it, I find that I am glad to not have the habit of chewing my nails, because I can only imagine the shock of realization hitting me full force in the head.
All this can be avoided if toilet paper can be made stronger. Perhaps a paper towel company can merge with a producer of toilet tissue the problem could be alleviated, but until then I must continue to live with the repercussions of poorly manufactured TP.
Why can’t toilet paper be sturdier?
Sure, they’re designed to effectively remove fecal matter from the area, but they have a tendency to occasionally rip under applied pressure. You reach back to remove the substance when suddenly your finger tip is caked in crap. The urge to wash immediately has to be controlled as you reach for more, taking an extra piece in the hopes that it will be less liable to break on you.
When everything is done you have to find some way to pull up your pants without using one of your hands. That’s only half the trouble. Washing it off is never an easy or entertaining task, but it must be done. After an hour of scrubbing, you find that there is still a bit beneath your nail that just won’t come clean.
You return to whatever it was that you were doing and do your best to forget what just happened, but every time your finger comes near your nose, you can’t help but catch the scent and remember vividly the disgusting tragedy which so recently assaulted you. Thinking about it, I find that I am glad to not have the habit of chewing my nails, because I can only imagine the shock of realization hitting me full force in the head.
All this can be avoided if toilet paper can be made stronger. Perhaps a paper towel company can merge with a producer of toilet tissue the problem could be alleviated, but until then I must continue to live with the repercussions of poorly manufactured TP.
posted by donteatpoop at 12:41 AM
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