My Wife Rules

We don't have a dog. Reason being; I don't like cleaning up dog shit. The only thing I like less than cleaning up dog shit is stepping in it. It's really that simple.

So you can imagine my anger and frustration whenever I step into my yard and find dog poopies. If I am outside and I see someone walking their dog but not cleaning up it's droppings, I say something about it. "Thanks for cleaning up after your dog!" I say. If they do not respond, I follow it up with "I'll come over and shit in your yard." If they still don't respond I usually throw a "Don't stop, keep walking." their way, that way it seems like if they continue to walk they are following my orders.

I mention the above to give you some idea of how much I hate the clumps of dog poop I find in my yard.

My neighbors have a dog. One of those little annoying "yap-yap" dogs (don't get me started on that). One day it dropped a duece on our lawn. My wife saw this from the window upstairs. So she went out, scooped it up with a shovel, and flung it onto their porch.

I'm so proud of her.