Last Night
I must have drank seven beers on an empty stomach last night and stayed at the bar until 5:00 in the morning. As I got in my car the first rays of sunlight gave the horizon an eerie sort of glow that should have tipped me off that something bad was to come.
I drove slowly in an order to counter the prominent effects of my alcohol consumption. No one was outside this early in the morning so I wasn’t exactly worried about the safety of others, this crawl-like pace was for my protection.
I was almost there, just three blocks from my home when a jittery flood of red and blue light struck me from behind, hopping around and blinking like strobe light. I curse myself inwardly. I must have swerved at some point.
Attempting to remain calm, I pulled over to the side of the road and ran my fingers through my hair, trying not to worry about the dead hookers in my trunk.
He knocks on the window and I roll it down after fumbling with the button. I was hoping not to appear drunk, but I was far from coordinated.
He asked me to step out of the car and gave me the standard drunk tests. He must have caught my eye during one of my nervous glances at my trunk and he asked that I open it.
Three hookers, each of them bound and long dead.
It’s no ones fault but my own. If I ever get out of the pen I am never drinking after killing three hookers and hiding their bodies in my trunk.
I drove slowly in an order to counter the prominent effects of my alcohol consumption. No one was outside this early in the morning so I wasn’t exactly worried about the safety of others, this crawl-like pace was for my protection.
I was almost there, just three blocks from my home when a jittery flood of red and blue light struck me from behind, hopping around and blinking like strobe light. I curse myself inwardly. I must have swerved at some point.
Attempting to remain calm, I pulled over to the side of the road and ran my fingers through my hair, trying not to worry about the dead hookers in my trunk.
He knocks on the window and I roll it down after fumbling with the button. I was hoping not to appear drunk, but I was far from coordinated.
He asked me to step out of the car and gave me the standard drunk tests. He must have caught my eye during one of my nervous glances at my trunk and he asked that I open it.
Three hookers, each of them bound and long dead.
It’s no ones fault but my own. If I ever get out of the pen I am never drinking after killing three hookers and hiding their bodies in my trunk.
posted by donteatpoop at 11:56 PM
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