Trouble with Pussy (cats, you perv)

I've often wondered what the fuck is wrong with my cat, other than my utter hatred for the thing.

In most regards it appears to be a normal cat, playing and eating and meowing and purring and forcing you to pet it constantly (and I mean constantly - stupid fucking cat, I swear I'm going to kill it one day).

The peculiarity comes into play usually when I am laying in bed. I hear a little "meow" which indicates that the cat is seeking my attention, and I turn my head in that direction only to find the cats asshole just inches from my face, tail straight up in there. It happens on the couch sometimes too, I'm watching a movie, there's a meow, I turn my head and --- You guessed it ---Cat ass in my face.

I won't pretend to understand why she constantly places her asshole inches from my face. But does anyone know if there is something I am supposed to do? Like is there a cat cue I am missing?

If I can't figure this out soon I am going to resort to sneaking up on her and shoving my ass in her face. See how she likes that.

Stupid cat.