Monkey Business

I have an idea for a new reality TV show. It's called Monkey Business. And basically it's a hidden camera show where monkeys enter the workforce.

For instance. A man hires a construction company to build a deck on the back of his house and a crew of monkeys shows up with hardhats and toolbelts and stuff. Imagine the look on the man's face when a crew of monkeys show up to do his deck.

Or a couple goes out to a restaurant and a monkey (dressed in a waiter uniform, white button up shirt, black pants, carries a notepad, etc) shows up to take their order, AND brings them out their food!

Or a man gets into the back of a cab and tells the cabbie where to take him. Just before the taxi starts moving, the driver (a monkey) turns around and gives him a big old chimpanzee smile.



And when PETA protests, we could send out our official spokesperson; and it could be a chimpanzee dressed in a suit and tie. He could stand at a little podium with a mic on it and address the crowd.

Animal planet could totally pick this show up.

Wouldn't this be the best show ever? Don't deny it, you know it would.

Why I won't go to zoo's anymore

I was attacked by a flamingo at a local zoo. Fearing for my life, I whipped out my pocket knife and slit its throat. Thankfully no one was around to witness the incident, so I planted the knife in the monkey cages and ran out of the zoo to my car and drove home.

Later that night; I saw on the news that a monkey had found a knife and gone on a killing spree.

I can’t help but feel guilty about it.