Why won't the robots stop calling?

I don't mind telemarketers. I'd be hypocritical if I thought otherwise, as I work in a call center.

But at the very least have a human call me. Don't send me a fucking pre-recorded message. Does that even work? Ever? I can't imagine you see a lot of success with machines calling people.

I have to pull my jimmy out of the glory hole in an effort to answer the phone in case it's some sort of emergency; only to find out that someone recorded a message to play to me upon answering. Do you realise how rare it is that I am able to convince my wife make the beast with two backs with me?!? I can't be wasting precious time like that by answering the fucking phone and NOT EVEN BEING ABLE TO SAY "Hey, I can't talk right now because I'm having sex."

That's the best part about telemarketers, by the way; bragging to complete strangers.
But all of that is lost on a fucking machine that is playing a fucking pre-re-fucking-corded message!

Maybe I would appreciate the pre-recorded messages more if I was lonlier. But I'm not quite that lonely.

Wait... Are these calls coming from the same people as the automated commenters that I have blocked with the "type these letters" system? Are you that desperate to get in touch with me? I miss you too, guys. I miss your complements on the design of my blog and your random links to porn. Perhaps you could work the porn thing into your messages that you call me with? I think that would be great. Hope to talk to you soon!