The Dog

I'm going to skip past the typical "Sorry it's been so long since I've posted" bullshit. It's been a while since I've posted. Whatever, that much was obvious.

Anyway, today at about 4:00pm we hear this sound from outside that sounds like a dog might be hurt. It was the irritatingly loud beagle bark, but it also sounded like it might be in pain or something. So I got my shoes on and stepped outside and there was a beagle sniffing around in circles on the ground, stopping now and then to bark. It wasn't hurt, just scared.

It didn't run away from me, but it didn't come to me either, just continued sniffing as though I wasn't even there. It was kind of pathetic really, running in circles with its nose to the ground, bark/whining.

Anyway, I finally got him and put a leash on him and called his house. His name was shadow. People came to get him and took him home.

Turns out the stupid fucking dog only walked a street over. One street over and it goes batshit stupid crazy. What a dumb fucking dog. One street. Sniffing in circles.

Insanity Confirmed

Most of you have undoubtedly come to the conclusion that I am crazy. Don't be bashful, I know it's crossed your minds.

This morning, I have confirmed it.

I was pumping gas and this lady beside me had one of those annoying little "yipe-yipe" dogs that was hell bent on yiping at me through the window. It was so fucking aggrivating.

When the woman went in to pay my pump shut off and I hung the nozzle up. Still that little fucking over-sized rodent dog wanna-be kept barking and yiping and generally annoying the shit out of me.

So I made three deep, menacing, and booming barks at it; the way a dog [i]should[/i] sound. The dog shut the hell up, whimpered a little, and backed up as far as it could in it's vehicle.

I turned around to see the woman returning to her car, and I quickly sat down in mine and started my car. Looking around through the windows I noticed that everyone else was just staring at me with slack jaws, clearly shocked by the crazy man who barks at dogs.

I waved and smiled like a polititian as I drove away.