beer review

Hazy pail golden color, the kind that scary mosters crawl out of before attacking an entire town for its own nefarious purposes. Little bit of white head that clings desperately at the edge of the glass.

Banana and grapefruit, yeast and grain hit the nose as if two specific fruits and... some grain and yeast.

Quite acidic and sharp, like a cheddar lined with razors. A vague underlying dryness and the lingering taste of sweet decay remind me of the last hooker I had in my trunk... kind of a funny story really; I was so drunk that I had lost count and after I buried the two in the backseat and I ended up forgetting the one I left tied up in the trunk.

Anyway, everyonce in a while when I hear a knocking sound that I had THOUGHT was the engine. Haha, turns out there was a third hooker back there, but I didn't realize it at the time.

I didn't really have money to pay for anything to get fixed so I just kept on driving. Eventually everything quieted down and I forgot all about it.

So one day I have some groceries that a bagboy brings out to my car and when open the trunk: BAM! There's the dead hooker. Terrible wafting scent comes up and blasts us in the face, the bagboy is throwing up on the ground and I am just laughing my ass off.

I hit him on the head and threw him in next to the corpse in the short skirt and buried them both in the desert.

That was a close one.

Anyway...

Yeah...

But this decay smell in the beer was more the yeasty smell than that of corpses. Hope it didn't come across like that.

Great beer, the tastes improve and become more pronounces as the bottle warms up... Wheats are lovely at room temperature.

I'd definately bring this funky little wheat places with me. Solid wheat.


(Troegs: Dream Waver Wheat)

On drinking.

It is possible to drink often and get drunk rarely.

Just thought I'd point that out because a lot of people tend to assume that anyone who drinks regularly is a raging alcoholic.

One or two beers a night will not get you drunk, probably won't even get you buzzed (unless you drink them really fast). I happen to drink, on average, 1 beer a night. Sometimes I don't drink anything, sometimes I drink one, sometimes I drink two, every great once in a while I'll have 3. But that's usually the full extent of it.

So do I drink? Yes. Do I get drunk? Rarely.

Just pointing that out for those who tend to make assumptions.

Beer

An uncle of mine once told me "you know why beer goes through you so fast?"

"Why?" I asked.

"Because it doesn't have to change color on the way out!"

Then he laughed for a while.

When he was done laughing I pointed out that we were both drinking Guiness, and that either he had mistaken his dick for his asshole or there was something seriously wrong with his urinary track.

Troegs Nugget Nectar

Had some of this on tap last night. It was soooooo good. The hops were very present, giving off a citrus-like taste. It went down so smoothe, it was refreshing to drink after all of the porters and stouts and dunkels I've been drinking lately.

My wife even liked it, and she claims to have disdain for hops. She pointed out the flavors she liked, and what she described was the hops. So I enlightened her. I ended up grabbing some IPAs for her to try, since she apparently doesn't hate hops as much as she thought she did.

The barmaid there described the ale to another patron as "hoppy and bitter," the guy steered clear of it for that reason. What a shit-barmaid.

It's an amber color, citrusy hops and a light bitterness. That's what I would have said. Bet he would have grabbed it if he'd heard that.

In search of a beer store

I was away on business this weekend and checked on beeradvocate.com for some good local beer stops. I found a grocer (ACME) listed that supposedly had good a selection, it also had the same name as the company that sells all the stuff that Wile E Coyote orders, so I decided to go.

I left the hotel and drove the ten minutes or so in search of the place, realizing after the first two minutes that I had to pee. By the time I got there it became apparent that I had to pee really really bad.

Given my bladder I decided that I would hit up the restroom first and relieve myself. But I couldn't find it. I had to try and avoid pinching it off by hand and just did my best with mind-over-matter; but there were a few times I grabbed my junk and held it for a bit. I tried to time it for when no one was around to see, but the last time some woman saw me and got this disturbed look on her face like she thought as about to whip it out and smack her in the face with it.

So I mumbled "I have to pee" and moved past her. Everytime I saw an employee they were super busy and couldn't help me, but eventually I found two women seated at a table in the candy section (which isn't far from the beer section). They were like "Hi, are you here for your flew shot?" and I said "No, I'm here because I have to pee and I can't find the bathroom and some lady saw me touch my penis and thought I was a pervert but I was only grabbing it so that I didn't pee all over everybody."

Then they said "the restrooms are right over there," and pointed at an area that was less than ten feet away. So I went peed. I gotta tell you, it was one of the most magical times in my life. The unrine just kept pouring out, tears welled up in my eyes... I must have stood there for five minutes letting the piss flow.

When I was done, I shook three times, washed my hands, and walked over to the beer section.'

Then I found the beer. They really did have a good selection, a lot of micro brews were available. The wine selection was pretty awesome too, divided by country and vintage. I was really pleased, and if I'm ever in the area again I'll go back. (but I'll be peeing before I leave)