Beer

An uncle of mine once told me "you know why beer goes through you so fast?"

"Why?" I asked.

"Because it doesn't have to change color on the way out!"

Then he laughed for a while.

When he was done laughing I pointed out that we were both drinking Guiness, and that either he had mistaken his dick for his asshole or there was something seriously wrong with his urinary track.

Yo momma so...

While making fun of a security guard, I realized that I had stumbled upon what could possibly be the greatest yo momma joke ever told. Sometimes I'm a freaking genious... Brace yourself:

Yo momma so nasty... When I got done eating her out, she handed me a toothpick.