So much snow

It's been snowing like crazy lately.

I stepped into a snow drift earlier and felt a cold sensation on my balls.

A dream fulfilled?

Today I did something that I have always wanted to do.

It just snowed last night.

I went to the gas station on my way home from work to fill up the tank. It was pretty crowded there.

I decided that I wasn't just going to dream about it anymore and I did it. I launched a snowball at a complete stranger.

He was an older man dressed with a stern face. He gave me the impression that he was one of those people who regularly snubs his nose at people like me.

It landed on the roof of his car and bounced harmlessly past him, but the roof bounce sprayed him a bit with a little snow. He glared at me and I stared right back at him as I packed up another snowball. At another pump somewhere someone laughed.

He was still glaring at me with his angry eyes as I threw the second snowball at him. This one hit his shoulder. "You are incredibly childish," he said to me.

"And you sir are no soldier," I said, packing another one.

That's when the missle came in at me; blasted me right in the side of the head. I turned around to see some guy about my age holding his hands in the air in absolute victory.

"That't it," I said. "You're dead." I returned fire.

Before I knew it, the entire area was engaged in an all out snowball war; the volley of snowballs was so intense that it blotted out the flaurecent lighting from above. Every one was fully engaged. It was glorious.

The man who was originally victimized by my terrorism drove away as his car took damage from hundreds of snowballs as the war waged on. Eventually the police had to come and break it up.

It was a night that I can never forget... Or could never forget if I had actually done any of this.

I wish I could work up the courage to do so, but everytime I play it out in my head I assume that someone is going to get wicked pissed and fail to relive the simple childish pleasure of engaging yourself in a snowball fight. 122

Boxers or Briefs

...Or commando, as I'm sure some of youn sick bastards are saying in your heads.

I don't like briefs, but they certainly hold my balls in one place. They're a bit confining, in my opinion, but I'm sure that's just a matter of perspective. Briefs activist probably claim that briefs are like a cotton hug for your testicles.

But I don't like them. My nuts need freedom. Plus, with my massive manhood, there's no room in the little space for my third arm AND the boys.

I prefer boxers. (or commando, really, but I have to wear something to work.)

Boxers are great because they allow the man room to swing free. He and the boys hang freely without any constraints. The only drawback to boxers (or no underwear at all) is the limitations they place on your ability to jog effectively.

With every running step I take, they slap up against my leg.

Slap, Slap, Slap, Slap, Slap, Slap. Oh no, donteatpoop is running this way.

In an all-out run it's like there is a crowd giving me a standing ovation as I go by.

Speaking of balls

My dog had his balls removed this evening. He's sleeping it off now.

The poor guy.

I guess if I ever had my nuts chopped off, I would sleep a lot too. It's a pretty good plan, I suppose. Wouldn't you agree?

I think it would be worse for me, though; if my balls ever got chopped off. I'm sure it's terribly devistating for him, certainly. But I have an opposoble thumb. So it would be way worse if it happened to me.

Plus he won't be getting bitches pregnant, or spreading animal STD's.


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Speaking of balls, did you ever fart while sitting and have gas float up and vibrate your balls? I did this one time with a crazy-loud one and they actually slapped a couple of times from the air bubble.

It was awesome.

Urgent help needed.

Please. You gotta help me. I think I lost one of my testicles.

I just went to scratch them and there were only two. I already checked my scrotum and it's not there. I took my pants off and shook the hell out of them, but nothing fell out. I've been looking on the floor for the last several minutes, but to no avail.

Fuck! What the hell am I going to do without my teste?!

I really hope I don't step on it.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

How can I have done something so stupid?

Damn it! What the hell is wrong with me.

I just checked again, and there's still only two. What the fuck?!

I'm really starting to freak the fuck out over this shit.

...

...

...

Wait.

One... Two...

Am I supposed to have two? Why do I keep thinking it's three?

Okay, nevermind. I have all my testicles. Crisis averted. You can go about whatever you were doing. There's nothing to see here. Let's not speak of this ever again.